Meeting People Online
It’s simple really, a swipe left, a swipe right. Then who knows… you may find your soul mate. The love of your life might be waiting for you online.
The online world is the most normal way of meeting people in 2015. Tinder and other dating apps have taken the world by storm. Tinder has 1.5 Million users in Australia and still the media, your friends, your family, and even yourself sometimes would have you believe that this way of meeting people is the most dangerous.
In typical Mean Girls fashion THEY tell you “Don’t use tinder, you will get attacked and DIE!”
The controversy over using dating apps is debated over and over. People’s biggest fears when it comes to Tinder are becoming a victim of sexual violence or exploitation, as well as a fear of rejection.
Sexual Assault in Australia is a REAL problem
Australia has one of the highest rates of rape and sexual violence in the world, especially for a developed and westernized country. It is estimated that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 20 men have experienced sexual violence since age 15.
SBS posted a compelling video on Youtube which can be found here. It shows that Australia has one of the highest rates of sexual assault from people who aren’t a partner, 16.4% compared to global average of 7.2%.
Those statistics are staggering and heart wrenching. It is no wonder that at every turn there is a reason screaming in your face not to use Tinder. In the past year there has been coverage of robberies, stabbings, gang-rapes, and murders from Tinder dates across Australia. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t use the app.
The Media gives Tinder a Bad Rap
Relationship and online dating expert Bettina Arndt is frustrated at how the media portrays dating apps. She says,
“Lots of people are scared of online dating and the media doesn’t help. The media does an appalling job, in only focusing on the negatives…It drives me crazy how rarely the media presents positive aspects of what has been a huge success story. ”
Most media stories cover the negatives of Tinder and other similar apps. This negative connotation leads to people missing out on potentially amazing connections.
The Jury’s Out on Tinder’s New Features
Dating apps are the centre of attention, with Hinge making it’s debut in Sydney last week. But everyone still has their opinions on them.
Gemma, 25, recently moved to Melbourne and is new to Tinder. She says she is “uncomfortable” using the dating app and thinks that online dating is dangerous. In her experience everyone she has met was completely different to his profile. She has gotten a lot of messages asking for sex, and her experience is it’s a hook up app.
Lindsay, 24, is another Tinder user. She is a government employee in Alice Springs, NT. She has used Tinder a few times in Canada and across Europe. Now she is a sporadic user in Australia and thinks it’s a great way to meet new people saying, “I guess people some people might think everyone on Tinder is there just to hookup, but I don’t think that is always the case.”
Tinder recently added a more involved way of seeing your connections. Similar to Linkedin you can see people who are separated by ‘2nd degree’ friends. So they have to have a friend who is friends with your friend.
Tinder also recently synced with Instagram. Now for most females this was brilliant. You can now add the perfectly filtered and cropped Instagram photos to your profile. But as Lindsay points out,
“It is a bit creepy now that Tinder shows the Facebook friend connections and Instagram which makes it easier for people to find your online profiles and further information about you.”
There’s Still A Stigma
A third Tinder user, from Sydney, Harriet, 24, who actually had a long term relationship with a man she met from Tinder says she’s been on it for 18 months and “it’s changed”.
“The pressure the media puts on like when you’re 24 you date all these different guys and you go on a date every week and I was like I can do this and Tinder is actually a really good way to do this.”
She thinks there are more guys on it now but she has gotten less matches. She thinks when it’s a larger group there are less people who will be attracted to you. She says,
“I’ve had a lot of really good conversations with a lot of guys on Tinder. But it’s never really eventuated with me going out with them. Mainly because I’m a little nervous and b. because I quite like that anonymity and it’s nice to talk to someone with the same interests as you. And I feel like with some of the guys we could be friends, but going on a date because you met on Tinder it’s a bit of pressure…”
“It’s just like you—it’s the whole like ‘you’re meeting someone online?’ there’s still a lot of stigma and old fashioned ideas about that being unsafe.”
When it’s comes to the Media’s portrayal of Tinder Harriet says,
“I feel like the media will quite often only pick up the bad things about something… and I don’t think Tinder is necessarily, I mean it’s is not a bad app, it’s really not, it’s a good way of meeting people. And yes, these bad things happen and we have to always be aware of them but it’s not—I think the media has gone a little too far with scare mongering about the app when we really have to be a little more realistic.”
Don’t Throw Caution to the Wind
Sexual Violence is a real and growing problem in Australia. However Tinder and meeting people online is not the problem. People are the problem.
Keep the following precautions in mind though:
- Meet in a nice public place and have a get out plan. Or even meet in a group, think: Hillary Duff-esc!
- Don’t give away significant personal details; I’m looking at you credit card numbers!
- TRUST YOUR GUT! (It’s usually right!)
Find Love. Stop Sexual Assault.
If you’re looking for love though Arndt always recommends tinder to anyone under 30 and thinks it has shifted from a hook-up app to an actual way to meet people.
The high rates of sexual assault in Australia need to stop. The amount of people who experience this is shockingly high in this country. No means no, even if you swipe right.
If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault then contact your local help centre, in NSW: http://www.nswrapecrisis.com.au.
Short Bio: Bradlyn Wilson
Online Journalism Group 2 
June 5, 2015 at 2:07 am
Hi Bradley.
I really liked how you introduced your story. The ‘’mean girls’’ joke is funny and engages the reader. It is also easy to know that you did an extensive research on the topic. Your interviews and quotes are well positioned in your narration. I would have liked to get a bit more of information about the sex-criminals that used Tinder as their weapon. You mentioned them but didn’t compare them with the statistics that you had on general sex crimes. Also, keep an eye on your typing. There are some extra punctuation marks in certain paragraphs. I liked the infographic you drew but you should try apps like ‘Piktochart’ next time. It might be easier for you. I would have liked to hear about your experience with Tinder, since your bio says that you actively use it. In general I enjoyed you story it is a topic that is timely and attractive to young people and also parents. It is also controversial so I am sure you will get a lot of audience participation! 😀
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June 6, 2015 at 2:44 pm
The title of your post really drew my attention. Of course an online dating service doesn’t cause rape and people do – but I knew from this title that your intention was to cover some facts to support this reasonable assertion, so I was keen to read on.
It was interesting to read the opinions of women who’ve used the site, as they had some different thoughts and perspectives to offer. I would have liked to read some more opinion or discussion of research around the issue from some professionals relevant to the topic, other than Bettina Arndt (who is a good interviewee though). For example, an academic who has looked into some issues to do with dating or sexual assault, or perhaps someone researching the male psyche in Australia to speak to your points about the concerning rates of sexual assault in this country. This would have helped add some weight to the arguments.
I also think it would have been interesting to hear from an IT expert about whether they think the new functionality makes Tindr more risky.
Still, I think it was excellent that you finished the piece pointing to a helpline for those who may have experienced sexual assault. Overall, the opinions and facts in the piece were very interesting. It was informative – I learned many things I didn’t know. Thank you.
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June 10, 2015 at 4:43 pm
Very relevant topic for the rising trend in tinder usage in Australia. The text is effectively broken up using images and chunking allowing for digestibility. You have relevant use of hyperlinking. Inclusion of pop culture references helps with engagement. In particularly I like the hand drawn image as it provides needed humanization in a sensitive topic.
I think a larger focus on interviews would have given the article more depth but I remember you saying how hard it was to get people to talk. In that regard I think it very brave to tackle such a heave issue and commend you for doing so. This article is beneficial because it provides needed awareness surrounding ways of dealing with the issue of sexual harassment in a digitized and connected world.
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