Cyclone “Victoria” made more than 100 people be homeless and took away 6 people’s lives, when it passed Honiara at about 12pm yesterday.
Meteorologists at the Nadi Weather Centre detected a cyclone and named it “Victor” at 2 a.m. yesterday.
After 8 hours, winds in Honiara were blowing at more than 140 kilometres per hour. At about 12p.m., the centre of the cyclone passed directly over Honiara before tracking into the Coral Sea, where it blew itself out. In Honiara, more than 20 houses were destroyed and a number of other buildings sustained considerable structural damage. More than 100 people are now homeless. Six people were killed. Another 18 people have been treated in hospital for minor injuries.
March 16, 2016 at 7:51 am
Hi Chen, thanks for this … you have a nice flow to your writing. I’m not sure if you have purposefully made the name of the cyclone feminine Victoria, but please note this is incorrect! You call it Victor in the second sentence. A couple of things you might also note … Don’t use ‘At about 2am …’. It is either ‘at’ or ‘about’, not both. At is precise, about is approximate. This week we will talk about using key words for online headlines, which might cause you to consider whether to put the impacts on people in the headline. In this story, I would like to have seen more of those impacts in the first two sentences (here you put them last, repeating some from the first sentence).
LikeLike